Friday, March 23, 2012
We all have that emotion that we could live without, the one that gets to us more than the rest, the one we struggle with.....mine is being powerless or feeling trapped. I just don't handle it well at all. My fight/flight goes into overdrive and I tend to overreact. As I've "matured" (he he he) I've learned this about myself.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Facing the Fat Monster
If you jiggle and you know it....clap your hands! *Clap, Clap*
Ok, so I have more than a jiggle. And I'm finally facing it. I've used my fat as a shield long enough. I don't want to make fat jokes about myself before others do anymore. I'm tired of just accepting that THIS is how my body was meant to be. I refuse to blame my children anymore for being overweight. I'm my own worst enemy, so now it's time to be my own best friend.
It's going to hurt. I'm going to whine. But I'll tell myself the same thing I tell my kids, "I don't care how much you whine, as long as you finish the job." Seems to work for them, logically it'll work for me.
Last night was difficult, walking into a room of already thin people thinking, "Why the hell are THEY here?!" But after my super sobfest, I realized two things....A) It's none of my business why they're here, and B) I'm not competing against them. I'm competing against myself. To do better. To be better. For me. Just me.
I'll never be in a bikini (stretch marks, ew!!), but I CAN/WILL shrink, tone, get fit. Even if this means I only fit into the clothes I already own, I'm ok with that. As long as I eat better and have more energy, I'll have succeeded.
So I'll apologize in advance for all the posts I'm sure you'll be bombarded with in the coming weeks. Thanks for reading and thanks for your patience and support!
I love you all!
Ok, so I have more than a jiggle. And I'm finally facing it. I've used my fat as a shield long enough. I don't want to make fat jokes about myself before others do anymore. I'm tired of just accepting that THIS is how my body was meant to be. I refuse to blame my children anymore for being overweight. I'm my own worst enemy, so now it's time to be my own best friend.
It's going to hurt. I'm going to whine. But I'll tell myself the same thing I tell my kids, "I don't care how much you whine, as long as you finish the job." Seems to work for them, logically it'll work for me.
Last night was difficult, walking into a room of already thin people thinking, "Why the hell are THEY here?!" But after my super sobfest, I realized two things....A) It's none of my business why they're here, and B) I'm not competing against them. I'm competing against myself. To do better. To be better. For me. Just me.
I'll never be in a bikini (stretch marks, ew!!), but I CAN/WILL shrink, tone, get fit. Even if this means I only fit into the clothes I already own, I'm ok with that. As long as I eat better and have more energy, I'll have succeeded.
So I'll apologize in advance for all the posts I'm sure you'll be bombarded with in the coming weeks. Thanks for reading and thanks for your patience and support!
I love you all!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Long Time, No Blog
Since my last blog:
- One brother called once to show his "concern," but hasn't called since. (Pffft, I knew it.)
- The other brother deleted me from facebook. (Truth hurt a bit?)
- My mother is steadily improving!!
- A family member was picked up for a mobile meth lab. (And everyone thought I'd be bad one...)
- I've progressed to 60% finished at school.
- I've made a trip to Chicago!
- My energy for school and a new future was re-energized in The Windy City!
- And now for the BIG announcement......
I start COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL June 27th!!
Ok, back to studying muscles.
Big Loves!
~H
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