I'm having a heavy sort of day. First of all, this weather sucks. Secondly, I haven't hardly been home much in the last three weeks. That's weird for me. Home is my favorite place to be. And....I'm carrying a little guilt again, because I can't be all things to all people.
All of this makes me angry at myself, because I KNOW that's reality. There are only 24 hours in a day and attempting to stretch that is futile.
My whiny line recently has been, "I'm sorry, I'm trying!" I'm trying to be a good wife, good mother, good friend, and to start a new career. Today, my best isn't good enough for me and I feel like it's not good enough for those around me either.
Does effort ever really equal success? Is trying the same as doing? And does one ever stop letting people down?
Apparently I've found a dark path on my Pilgrimage to Heatherland.
What you think of yourself and what WE think about you...TOTALLY different!!
ReplyDeleteWould you say any of that to a friend? NO! You shouldn't say it to YOURSELF EITHER~
You are making apologies again. Everyone who matters knows you are in transition. You have been ill and you are doing your best, tell the "negative nelly" in you to shut up, you are too busy for that nonsense. Alissa
ReplyDeleteNicely put Alissa!
ReplyDeleteEffort NEVER equals success. Sometimes it equals failure. But that's how you get better.
ReplyDeleteEffort DOES help position you for success.
Effort builds skill, reputation, and expertise. Expertise broadens your potential to be successful.
Your guilt is your own, and make no mistake, you're never going to stop carrying it around. You're never going to feel like you're doing too much of one thing and not enough of another. You would have that whether you were working for yourself, someone else, or not at all. If you won the lottery and decided to pay off all your debts and buy all the things you always wished you could and helped out all the people you love and decided to just be a philanthropist for the rest of your life, you'd STILL FEEL LIKE YOU WERE FALLING DOWN SOMEWHERE.
Our time is finite and we want to fit as much in as possible before the end. Of course it gets you down sometimes....you just have to power through days like this. Get to the end. Put it in front of you somehow. Remember why.
You, in particular, are SO not used to being on the go-go-go all day, every day...this is a transition period for you. You'll get better at figuring out what to prioritize, what to delegate, what to do yourself. From where I sit, you've picked up the ball and you're running with it like a champ. Don't give up. Especially don't give up to guilt.
success is varied and user-defined. change your definition as needed. ;) to me, effort is more valuable than success.
ReplyDeleteIf I could paid for my efforts, I'd be a bazillionaire.
ReplyDelete