Friendship

(I wish I could be more creative with a title, but whatevs.....)

Friendships have never really been my forte.  They take work and, as you may have figured out by now, I suck at work.  I can be done with a relationship in a heartbeat.  Piss me off and it's over.  I have enough to be angry about without chosen people pissing me off {said in my best angsty teen voice}.

And then in rolls the natural consequences of the above behavior.  Loneliness. Not the poor pitiful me loneliness.  Not therapy kind of loneliness.  More like, the family is driving me crazy I wish I had another female to commiserate with, or I want to talk boobs with someone who isn't my husband!

My problem with friendships, especially with women, in my experience they are the biggest bullies.  Covert bullies.  Women can manipulate each other and back each other into corners.  Sometimes I've seen it go to the point that we will become someone we don't even like in order to maintain those friendships.  What a wickedly ugly mess that is!

We're all the same.  We're moms, wives, sisters, aunts....WE'RE women!!  We're supposed to build each other up and push each other forward to be the very best moms, wives, sisters, aunts, etc that we can be!  Why don't we spend time or energy encouraging one another?  When do we console each other in ugly times....without then turning around and immediately gossiping about our "friends" and their situations?  Why do we see beautiful women and feel threatened by them?  How come we've decided that it's okay to lead our daughters this way?  Why can't we just TALK when things aren't going well?  Is it really necessary to tear each other down?  Do we have to turn our backs on one another?

This is why my husband is my best friend.  He doesn't bs me.  If I'm acting like a jackass, he lets me know.  When I'm sad, he comforts me with no expectations.  He never divulges my ugliness.  He calls me beautiful when I'm not. He tolerates and embraces my dreams. And most importantly, he's here for me every single day.  He's the first person I turn to with good news or bad.  We've been criticized several times for our closeness.  Outside friendships have ended because people don't understand our relationship, or maybe they're jealous?

Someday, I hope to have a close circle of female friends with whom I can share my life.  I've come to realize that I'm responsible for being the kind of friend I want to attract.  I'll try.  I'll work at putting myself in a friend's place and do for them what I would want done for me in the same situation.  Sick friend = basket with Kleenex and chicken noodle soup.  Sad friend = a "Hang in there" card or message.  Happy friend = champagne and balloons *hint hint*.  (I'll settle for a Busch Light and pizza!)  Frustrated/overwhelmed friend = help with a messy house or bratty kids.  Incidentally, any of the above emotions could quickly be remedied or celebrated with pizza and beer....how convenient!

That's where I'm at today.  Well, that and cleaning.  Maybe that's why I want a BFF, so I don't have to clean alone? :P

<3 H